update

There is so much I want to share, but feel that I need to hold off for the time.
Natalee is about the same. It has been 10 days from the last posting. I will say that she hasn't gotten better, but neither has she worsen. Three days after I had posted the previous blog, Natalee's doctor asked me to come in to talk. She wanted to prepare our family for some of the events that might happen to her. I cannot share what was told for it is too hard to even recount. From our conversation, we were expecting a rapid decline. So when I say she hasn't gotten worse, that is without a doubt amazing.
We are still having a hard time getting her to eat. She has 'thrush' which is a fungus that is in her mouth and digestive track. (chemo side effects) It is very uncomfortable for her to even swallow water, Her stomach hurts a lot from the thrush, being without food, and from coughing so much. It is a victory when she is able to eat. With the chemo being clean out of her body and the thrush medication starting to make some improvements, we are hoping by next week food will be appealing.
So many of you have asked what you can do? Right now, I would ask you to pray that Natalee's spirits can be lifted, that she can find peace and comfort, not to give up, and to have a desire to fight. Some of the greatest battles in life could have been won if we hadn't given up. Not knowing that while in the darkest hour there was a door waiting to be opened to find victory. It was 4 weeks ago that she was told the horrible news that nothing was working. This also was the first time she found out that she had terminal cancer. Can you imagine the shock, and horror that went through her mind, heart, and soul? It is unfathomable for me to comprehend. So for 3 weeks she gave up, quit eating, and quit trying to survive. So our good friends, we just ask you to pray.
Now one thing I want to express, when we said we turned her over to God, we weren't saying we gave up. She is in the greatest hands and care that can be given. The best was to say it is, she is on God's chemo, not man's chemo. So readers understand that our faith in God's healing powers have never been as strong as now. We have had some powerful experience that have lifted us up. Experiences in due time I want to share.

It's in Gods Hands

This past Wednesday May 5th, we had a family fast. As a parent there becomes a burden that digs at our heart, wondering have we done all that we can, should we stop as the doctors have suggested, or should we try to find other options. Since this all began, we have been overwhelmed with others suggestions (some I have appreciated) but others that have made us wonder if we have fallen short. With these haunting emotions we decided to seek our answers in our Temple. Whenever I need answers, or need to feel Gods comfort and Love, I go to His Temple. We specifically went to know what
Gods will is. So we considered three options 1) to continue on with our doctors and try another drug. 2) To check out some other cancer clinics that are more holistic, 3) to stop the drugs and turn her over to God. We told our children to all pray at 7:00 during the time we were to pray. After an hour and half of Kent and I praying and talking together, we knew without a doubt that it is time to stop the chemo, and put our daughter Natalee into Gods hands. This has been the hardest burden we have ever had to make, but we know that this is Gods will. and feel peace in our decision.
God is the architect and we trust in his will and his mighty power. With all the hardships and pain that Natalee is going through, it is time for our little girls to be free from cancer. Natalee has gone down hill rapidly. She has no strength to walk, it is very difficult to get her to eat and has lost a lot of weight. But as miserable as she is, she still has it in her to make us laugh. The doctor and social worker at Emanuel both made a comment that Natalee has stood out more than any other kid with how well she handles her hardships. That she has never complained, they said that if there was a word to best describe her, it is that she has grace. That is true.
The doctor also told me that she has shared Natalee's case with many doctors and have shown them her scans, and all of them were amazed that she wasn't taking pain medications until this past month. They felt she should have been taking it all along. I am so grateful for your prayers for Natalee, I believe it has empowered Gods grace and tender mercies to carry her through this difficult time.